bud lime, not worth your peso.

By now, you've probably come to realize that the popular drink to quench those thirsty taste buds this summer has been Bud Light Lime. I for one will admit that I have wrapped my lips around this bottle, but just once and this will never, ever happen again. This has to be the worst drink going today, all though I do give credit where credit is deserved. Bud Light has done a pretty remarkable job on their marketing campaign to get "tough guys" from coast to coast to drop $25 of their hard earned dollars to get a beer that might as well be a cooler, but with less alcohol percentage. It's % 4.0 alcohol which I do not condone as a beer. An old friend has probably put it best as saying, "Lime beer is a wine cooler drink for guys that don't want to be seen holding them, and don't have a palate for anything beyond sugar, popsicles, teenage girls and white rum". I find this to be satisfyingly true.

you'll never see a cent of my hard earned dollar, padre.

stay thirsty, my friends.

This beverage here brings me back once again to my time spent in Meh'ico. Everynight, at our resort, we'd usually wonder down to the bar by about 9pm or so to get absolutely good stinkin' drunk before finding our way downtown PV. At this bar, there were always these girls from Austin, Texas that would be down there doing the same we would be doing, except in girl form. Now I know what you're thinking, Girls; hot, foreign and not much to say... sounds lovely. That was the complete opposite. These girls were dead inside, I fucking swear! Anyways, after talking to them on a Wednesday night, they were saying something about a foam party at some bar in PV (supposedly the best night on the town). I opted to back out, which is tending to happen often with this fine age of mine and so did my roommate. The other two counterparts we were with decided to venture to this so called foam party in search of the perfect chica, maybe from Austin, maybe not. My idea of fun was to head to the nearest Oxxo store for that $3 six pack of Dos Equis. This stuff was delicious, but not only that, it comes in cans which I find more to my liking. My roommate and I found a nice little corner to sit and drank a six pack, and watched the Puerto Vallarta traffic pass by. To me, this is way more fun then then that hot club, looking for that perfect chica. So this is to you, my old bearded bastard of a friend, cheers!

till next time,

timothy

hello, friday.

    

    As I sit here listening to the EP of Dan Mangan, sipping on a bottle of Havana Club getting that mid afternoon glow that I've been looking for since, well... yesterday.  I have decided as of a few days ago that I will be saving all summer to relocate to a better place that we like to call Puerto Rico, come October.  Rum, beaches, white sand and Latinas is my interest for going southbound.  Well, time to get back to my bottle!

adios, amigos.

another picture, more booze.

    The weather around here as of late has been typical west coast weather.  Cloudy, windy, trying to rain, but can't make it all the way.  I'm pretty sick of this weather being it's June 20th and the summer has officially began.  All I want right now is to be able to enjoy a nice plus 25 degree Celsius day on my porch/or the beach sipping on my favorite beverage and enjoying the best of the sun.  Please weather, let's sit down and have a talk, work out some sort of agreement where you can be as shitty as you want from October 1st onward to say, May 1st and just co-operate for once. Please!

it'd be nice to see you, sun.

a picture.

see you soon, padre.

what the shit just happened.

   

        So somewhere over the past week I ended up with a job and not just any sort of job, a 9-5 full time job.  I wasn't really looking it, it just kind of came to me.  At first, I kind was kind of enjoying myself, but four days into this thing called a job, I have realized that this has cut into my drinking, tenfold.  Now my idea for the summer was to hopefully find a part time job, maybe four hours a day, three days a week which leaves me at four open drinking days if my calculations are correct.  I am now starting to feel like our dear friend Milton; overloaded with work, and just not enjoying the job anymore.  This real world bullshit is starting to get on my nerves.  Anyways, I'm not sure when the next time will be that I'll be able to wrap my lips around a delicious tasting bottle, but it better be fucking soon!

I'll see you tomorrow, you fucking cubicle.

a bottle. (from the island)

Before I moved to this island a few months ago, I had never really heard of the Phillips Brewing Co. but soon came to realize what the 341ml bottles were about. There is eleven different varieties to choose from, although I have only tried three of the eleven bottles, but have lived up to their expectations. The Slipstream is still my favorite at the moment. Now it's been sometime since I've touched mainland and intend to keep it that way but I'm sure that these bottles have boarded ship and found a comfortable spot on many liqour store shelves throughout the province. A six pack of this runs you about $12 CDN which is a fair price in the overpriced market of the Canadian liquor economy. So the next time your thirsty and need to wrap your lips around a bottle, I'd recommend picking up a few of these.

bon voyage, mon ami.

a movie.

By now, you've probably heard about the latest film from director, Todd Phillips. If not, it's called The Hangover, and has been in theatres since Friday. On Sunday afternoon, this movie seemed appropriate enough to go watch. After all, it was Sunday and I was extremely hungover from the previous night of binge drinking for a pal's birthday party. The movie stars some comedic actors that I'm not going to bother mentioning, but do assure you, they will make you laugh. The movie is about three friends and a reject who set out looking for that perfect bachelor party in where else, then Las Vegas, baby! Somewhere throughout the movie, they lose their groom after a heavy night of binge drinking & GHB. Nonetheless, the three groomsmen give Vegas a thorough sweep retracing their tracks to solve the mystery of their fallen comrade. I'm not going to go much further for fears of ruining your viewing pleasure. So my advice to you would be this; Get fucking hosed the night before, wake up before noon and catch the matinee, it's worth your time.

my head feels better today, thanks.

a son of a bitch.

          I'm not talking about the old fart in the picture, I'm talking about Pabst Blue Ribbon known mostly by abbreviation as "PBR".  This son of a bitch has an alcohol content of 5.9%  and comes at a handsome price of $7.99 for six of these at your closest cold beer and wine store.  Over the weekend, I was lucky enough to witness my roommate consume fifteen of these sons of bitches over a five hour period to drown whatever sorrows he may have.  The last memory I have of seeing him, is walking up the middle of Yates St. destined for some of that delicious pizza from that joint I previously spoke of in an earlier blog.  Folks, this stuff is cheap but is also miraculously delicious, but also gets you good stinkin' drunk.  If you spend as much time as I do drinking, but can't afford the higher quality stuff, then I recommend this stuff.  Recession beer!

thanks again, asshole.

a woman we love.

    Gal Gadot;  actress, model, Israeli.  Most importantly of all, a woman we love.

thank you, Gal.

another bottle. (from the caribbean)

Now I'm not exactly sure how you spent your weekend. Maybe you went to the beach, maybe you crushed some coldies, maybe you went to Sasquatch down in the great state of Washington, or maybe you found yourself hugging a toilet seat after a pleasant evening of binge drinking. I'm sure, however you did spend it, it was a good weekend. Over here on d'island, the sun was glistening, the beaches were packed with beautiful girls and the alcohol was flowing like Niagara Falls. For the most part, I sat on my deck and had a sit down with an old friend, the Sailor, every 750ml of him. He's sweet, he's 46% alcohol content, he's 92 proof and reasonably priced at $27CDN. So by reading that, you know this guy works. For times where your girlfriend just dumped you, it works. For times where you got fired, it works. For times when you just want to get right pissed, it works. I think you're getting the point here. Anyways, the next time you want something tasty for your tastebuds, I suggest you pick up a bottle of this, a two litre of Coca Cola and have yourself a good, no... great evening.

you're welcome back, anytime.

the dears, a band.

  The other evening, I was browsing through my iTunes collection looking for something good to put on while cooking a meal for myself.  What I fell upon was an old Dears album called "No Cities Left" which was released in 2003; over half a decade ago.  I forgot that this band of seven from Mon'real, Canada was even on the rotation.  Now the reason I bring all this up, is because over half a decade when I was much younger, and didn't know much about much, I was fortunate enough to watch The Dears live at the now defunct Boot Pub in Whistler, British Columbia.  I was a measly 19 year old kid, freshly turned.  I don't think I really cared about who was playing really, I just knew that the Boot sold jugs for $10 CDN and that my only intention was to get as good stinkin' drunk as I possibly could.  The opening band was sub-par from what I remember, but then The Dears came on.  I just remember hearing Murray Lightburn's voice and it sounded something of Morrissey'esque.  To say the least, I did get shitbombed, but I also found a passion for live shows.

     The Dears will be playing in Victoria, British Columbia this coming Friday, May 29 and will also be playing in the city of Vancouver the following night and then up into wine country; Kelowna, British Columbia on the Sunday.  I recommend that if you are in close proximity to either of these three areas you check them out, you won't be disappointed. 

ladies & gentleman, the dears.

      

 

a day of rest.

    Sitting on the couch, watching old seasons of The Office, drinking  Anejo on the rocks, puffing on a cigar from the Republic of the Dominican, feet kicked back.  A day of rest.

come back sun, we miss you.

a slice.

The other night, I was sitting on my patio drinking a bottle of the goose and soda. After a bottle down, I decided to take a night out on the town, see what the Friday nightlife had in stores for me. I walked around downtown, but really couldn't find any establishment worth my time, or money so I decided to head homeward. On the way home, I stumbled up to the Brickyard. I forgot about this place, but sure was glad to fall upon it once again. The best fucking pizzeria, ever! To top things off, they serve beer and hard liquor for people to consume until 2am, PST. What the fuck is better then drinking beer and eating pizza? For $3.25 a slice (a big one at that), you really can't go wrong. So I recommend, if ever visiting the beautiful city of Victoria, you check out 702, Yates St. You won't be disappointed!

I'll have another.

hello, thursday.

     

     Finally, the warm weather has come, and with the warmth brings the patio. And with the patio, brings me, a holmie, a bottle of Jerry's, and only the finest the Dominican has to offer... Cigars!

stay awhile, won't you.

a toast, to our queen.

     So once again, 365 days have passed us and it's that time of year. That's right, May Long, "The Long Weekend". May 2-4 etc.  I apologize if I have left out any of other definitions of this ridiculous holiday.  I just can't wrap my head around why this holiday is so big.  I mean, people base there entire year off this one holiday.  A time to get shitfaced!  Now maybe I don't see it cause everyday is a "long weekend" to me.  So for this long weekend, I have decided to get away from the chaos, the line-ups of liqour stores and my favourite drinking establishments, and to the busyness of restaurants.  So I am taking a stand, boarding a boat, taking the I5 of the Pacific and migrating southward where the alcohol is cheap, the women are beautiful, and there won't be an abundance of these 'long weekenders'.  I'm talking Seattle, Amer'ca! 

To the 'long weekenders'; you inglorious bastards.

 

  

an establishment.

    

    Last night, I wandered up Courtney St. here in downtown Victoria and stumbled to the front door step of which is now my favourite establishment of this town.  The bar; Smiths Pub.  Now a few years back, I lived in the mountains about two hours north of Vancouver,  just up the Sea to Sky Hwy.  Every so often, I would venture southward to Vancouver to go out on the town with some friends.  It was like religion that we always stop off at the Morrissey Pub before going onwards to any other place that serves the delicious kinds of alcohol that we all know and love.  Back to Smiths Pub.  As I am sitting at the bar enjoying my short double Sailor and Coca Cola the bartender comes on over to see how everything are going.  We start talking about the place and about the layout of the bar and how it just seems like a wholesome place to consume a beverage or two.  Anyways, as the conversation went on, the bartender brought up the Morrissey Pub, back in Vancouver.  He asked me if I knew the place, which I then told him I would go there almost every weekend while visiting the city.  He then proceeds to tell me that the owners of Smiths, also own the Morrissey;  I then saw the connection.  Anyways, if you're ever in Victoria, I recommend checking Smiths Pub out. Good drinks, good people, good music, and the same goes for anyone visiting the fine city of Vancouver. 

and it's Wednesday.

a meal, a bottle.

Salmon a

Mixed Greens a            

Mixed Vegetable Rice  a

5 year bottle of Flor de Cana  a

A bottle of Coca Cola a

        It's Tuesday and I am sitting at the kitchen table, second glass in.  I was reading somewhere a little while ago about how Tuesday, of all days is the day of the 'Alcoholic'.  I mean, I can believe it.  Monday's are a just a waste of time to go out, unless you like hanging out with people that you would never call friend.  A Monday for me usually consists of me relaxing from all the beverages I have consumed from Friday to Sunday.  Yes, I do count Sunday as the weekend still, which means I do tend to find a bottle of some sort in my hand.  So for the people out there who think Wednesday is the day of the 'Alcoholic', I have this to say; Fuck you, Wednesday!

a third drink, please.

a taste of Cuba.

       Ahh... Cuba. The home to such things as Guantanamo Bay, Fidel Castro, fine cigars and the most important of the aforementioned, rum.  My first run in with this bottle was about four months ago when I was in southern North America parallel to Cuba.  It is here where I dropped my pesos into the hands of the little senorita and bid her adieu as I went on my way.  I went back to my hotel room #359, sat down, poured and drank. "Jesus" I said as the rum hit my lips.  Now if "Jesus" is the first thing that comes to mind after a first sip, you know this bottle is one to keep a stock of in the liqour cabinet, above the fridge.  You can practically drink this straight from the bottle, every drop.  I mean, you know this bottle is good when the country of origin nationalizes Havana Club.  It's that tasty, it's that smooth!  Needless to say, this bottle was consumed, and I was good stinkin' drunk.  

I'll see you Friday, friend.

an old friend.

Miss you, Bernard.

a bottle.

      It's that time of year again. The time where patios are full, bbq's are being cleaned to grill that perfect burger, steak, salmon, etc... and when the babes come out of the woodworks and flock to the nearest of beaches looking for that perfect tan. Now if your looking for that perfect summertime beverage, may I recommend Pacifico. A six pack of this will run you about $13 CDN at your closest cold beer and wine store. It started out when three German's came up with a brilliant idea and migrated southward from their beloved country to a town called Mazatlan. This bottle has become so well known, even Uncle Charlie has started endorsing this beverage lately on the sitcom, "Two and a Half Men". So you know if he's drinking it, it has to work. So next time you're thinking about what to get shitbombed on, I recommend this.

Cheers, you three old bastards.

a friend.

  I recently sat down with a friend of mine over lunch and wrote down some Top 5 questions on a napkin and gladly handed it his way. The subject; Timothy R. Brett. A friend of mine for well over a decade, possibly one I like to call a best friend.

Drinking Establishments:                              Places Travelled:

1. The Red Door                                              1. My father's farm

2. The Brickhouse                                           2. Santorini, Greece

3. Christie's Pub                                               3. Meh'ico

4. Mugs & Jugs (Lillooet)                              4. Paris, France

5. Logan's Pub                                                  5. Zell am Zee, Austria

Beverages:                                                         Major Purchases:

1. Tom Collins                                                  1. Laptop

2. Dark & Stormy                                              2. VW Jetta

3. Guiness                                                           3. Nikon Camera

4. Vodka Tonic with lemon juice                  4. Finest bottle of Scotch

5. Bourbon Sour                                                5. A box of Zino Classic No. 6.  

Babes:

1. Zooey Deschanel

2. Marilyn Monroe

3. Rosario Dawson

4. Natalie Portman

5. Lucy Liu

                     

a place.

     One night as we leave one of Puerto Vallarta's finer drinking establishments and hail down one those exuberant taxis that the town has to offer. We get in, I lean over to the cabbie in a drunken stoop and say, "senor, do you mind taking us to the best burrito stand you know of". We drive down the cobble stone road a few blocks from where we once were drinking. This is where he takes us. Eighty cents CDN for a fucking burrito. "I'll take dose"

See you soon, Marco.

turned twenty-five; an excuse to get shitbombed.

  Wake up, breakfast, driving range, golf, Ferris', oyster burger, salad, mount gay rum, more mount gay rum, Logan's, pirate radio, senile lady playing accordion, ginger man, chain smoker, 1516, hockey game,  Blackhawks win, 420 zone (pizza), Canoe Club, not so good times, bad music, CIBC, Wicket, darts, more drinks, lineup, Lucky, more drinks, pregnant girl drinking, pretty girls, dj's dj'ing, a pretty girl, cab ride, 15$ later, home. 

See you later May 7, 2009... you filthy son of a bitch.

turned twenty-five; made a blog.

In an hour, I'll be hitting that quarter of a century mark of my life, so I decided I'd start a blog.